Fenwayparkfans and Boston Bob Kickin' it Old School with the First Jam of the Season Bitches!
The season started last night and it started with a bucking fang! That's Pig
Latinish for Efin Bang for the record. And while I am throwing things out there "for the record" I might as well go public with this statement...I am the worlds greatest masturbater.
Fenwayparkfans and Boston Bob Kickin' it Old School with the First Jam of the Season Bitches!
The season started last night and it started with a bucking fang! That's Pig
Latinish for Efin Bang for the record. And while I am throwing things out there "for the record" I might as well go public with this statement...I am the worlds greatest masturbater.
Not sure if it is technique or simply the amount of years I've been honing this
craft but if there were a masturbation Olympics I'm quite sure I'd medal...Gold! I've been married twice and while most would stop or at the very least slow down the side games I'd find myself playing double headers more often than not. And not because yesterdays session had been rained out, most of the games were PLAYED in the shower! Just wanted to come clean...
And speaking of something other than me masturbating did you see that game?! I'm not saying you can tell much from the first game of the season but it can set the tone for the year. Last year it clearly did not but this isn't last year! And winning is always better than losing right? I'm asking, I've never lost. Know winnin feels pretty damn good though.
Any time you beat the Yankees it's better than losing to the Yankees and if you can beat them at home on a night when Pedro throws out the first pitch...Steven Tyler sings God Bless America like only he can, standing next to a daughter
like only he has.
Does that make sense? It means he has hot daughters. ALL of them!
Anyway, Neil Diamond sings Sweet Caroline there for the first time ever and I have to say even though I wasn't at the game I got chills. I'd imagine it's the way women feel when I casually walk by them; sex appeal oozing out of my pores. Did I just say I wanted to bang Neil Diamond? Moving on...
Beckett was starting with a nice extension all but done (more on that later) so
everyone was curious to see what he was going to do. All I know is if it was as exiting watching it at Fenway as it was watching it at my house alone wearing nothing but red and white nail polish and a light coat of Skippy Peanut Butter then those in attendance got more than their moneys worth.
And an annoying rash.
So 2nd inning he gives up back to back shots but the Sox quickly strike back and
it's 2 to 1.
Couple innings later and it's 5 to 1. 5 - 2, then 3, then they tie it but BAM 7 - 5. Coulda deflated them right there but this ain't your Grandmothers Red Sox...it's mine. No really, she's a big fan. Big ups to Nan who from this day forward will be known as Nan Nan the Red Sox Fan.
But back to the game...down 7-5 and they storm right back, take the lead 8 - 7 then add an insurance run for good measure before the night was done. Which hope made Steven Tylers daughter Chelsea happy. I know if I got the chance I would make Steven Tylers daughter Chelsea happy...just sayin.
So what does this long drawn out waste of how ever many minutes it takes you to read these words mean? I like our chances this year. And not because of one game, though getting a good look at the whole team in a real game situation did make me feel a little optimistic.
And there are things that you can take from a first game...
For starters Beckett got one of his two bad games he will have this year out of the way and we still won.
Seeing Matinez behind the plate was refreshing to say the least and God knows it's nice to have a new face at shortstop for a change. Not really but it was nice to have Tek callin the game from a place that even he can't strike out.
Cameron looked pretty comfortable out there as did Beltre who will more than likely flourish in this park in hopes of one last big contract.
And first game aside I think it is safe to say if Lackey looks anything like he did in Spring Training he will be dominating opposing batters more often than not. It's also safe to say if either of my ex wives looked anything like Steven Tylers daughter Chelsea I'd still be married! Reaching??? Ok then, moving on...
I could go from top to bottom and honestly come up with a hundred reasons why I like our team this year but keeping equally honest I've just run out of ambition. Too honest? Ok, try this...
I could go from top to bottom and honestly come up with a hundred reasons why I like our team this year but keeping equally honest it's my night to gently rock the babies to sleep at the orphanage and I'm already running a little bit late. I know, smoooooooooooveeeee...
Oh, and Beckett got an extension. You know, continued from above.
For Fenwayparkfans ,this is Boston Bob and I am AWESOME...just sayin!