Welcome to the Valentines edition of FenwayParkFans. I'd like to start off by
saying a big Happy Valentines Day to all the single ladies...or married, engaged or otherwise attached women who can keep a secret. Wassup???
Now on to the Sox.
Welcome to the Valentines edition of FenwayParkFans. I'd like to start off by
saying a big Happy Valentines Day to all the single ladies...or married, engaged or otherwise attached women who can keep a secret. Wassup???
Now on to the Sox.
Citchers and Patchers report in less than a week. See what I did...I switched up the letters, made it all kinds a fun. Citchers and Patchers, come on...what a hoot!
Ready, I wonder if they will re-sign Bosh Jeckett?! Good Lord isn't this great??? No? Okay then, moving on...
Spring Training is right around the corner and Michelle Beadle is quite possibly the most beautiful woman on the planet. What does that have to do with Spring Training? I don't know, what does you asking me a question have to do with that slap you just got across the back of the head? Exactly, mind ya business!
Anyway, back to Spring Training. Less than 3 weeks from now the Sox will be taking on none other than Northeastern and I for one am excited. The Olympics close on February 28th giving you a few day break before the Sox throw up fidy eight on the Huskies. Pitchers and Catchers report in less than a week. First game less than 3 weeks away. I should be all sorts of excited, Spring Training is upon us. I WAS all sorts of excited til I went to the Sox Spring Training schedule, then my excitement turned to confusion, the kind of confusion I feel when my Uncle pulls a quarter out from behind my ear as I wear a diaper and dance to Stupid Girl by Garbage.
Anyway, go to the Sox website and click on the Schedule tab; Spring Training. Maybe you will see it. Maybe it's something I am missing. All I know is that I have been starin at this thing for so long I figure any minute now I will either see a Pirate Ship, or find Waldo. Ba Doom Doom! Anyway, by reading said schedule I have learned that on the 14th of March the Sox are playing the Twins AND it is the beginning of Daylight Savings.
Now that's some infor-freakin-mation!!! You go to their schedule and you will find when Daylight Savings starts but you know what you won't find?
A Sox Yankees game. How does this happen? Spring Training is boring save for the last week if there are fewer slots than players vying for them. Spring Training is to Baseball what I am to Pornography. Sure it's sex but it's much more enjoyable if you are drunk...and doing the wave.
What!? I don't know.
But Spring Training is pretty bad UNLESS it happens to be the Sox Yankees, then it's actually must see tv. ESPN usually televises it, people scalp tickets getting good money for a SPRING TRAINING GAME...it's the Sox freakin Yankees for poops sake!
This baffles me to no end. Not really, once I send this off I will move on quicker than a hooker at a goin out of business sale. Or not that quick but quick just the same. No matter it is something that I can't quite wrap my head around. Why take the best thing in an otherwise boring month plus of baseball and replace it with nothing of substance?
Don't get me wrong, if the games were removed from the schedule to make room for Panda Bear Death Match I'd have no issues right now. In fact if you can pull off Panda Bear Death Match you can put it wherever the hell youwant, replace the Super Bowl for all I care, we're talkin Panda Bears with a hunger for blood and training in some form of Mixed Martial Arts...I welcome this like I were God welcoming an Angel in to Heaven. Without making them wipe their feet.
I mean, I can understand God wanting you to wipe your feet when you get to heaven what with the white clouds and all but couldn't he just let you wear your shoes and make the stains disappear? Pretty sure he knows a magic trick or two. Or get Billy Mays to do it, don't they have OxiClean in Heaven?
And if you're and Angel shouldn't you have wings, what are you doin walkin? Lazy!
But I digress, back to Spring Training. Sox Yankees won't be happening this Spring Training season. Granted we start off the regular season with a home series against them but to not have one ST game just doesn't seem right. It's like having no STD in today's day and age, get laid there Vicky Virgin! I know I myself have 3 but I do pretty well with the ladies. Boys and Girls that was what you call a joke.
I know that STD's are nothing to joke about and are definitely not funny if they
happen to me. As for you, what do I care if you get the South African
Herpadoodles? Oh it's real, look it up. Itches like hell! And I
remember going to the bathroom one time, simple number 1 or 2, whatever the hell goin pee is. Anyway, goin number urination and I coulda sworn I was shooting a set of Ginsus out my pee hole. Good times!
But back to the Sox. And sorry to veer off subject every now and then but I try not to overload you with too much Sox related information all at once, though instead prefer to feed you little nuggets bit by bit carefully scattered with useless (and usually false) information. Yeah, I can pretty much do whatever I want around chea! As a matter of fact I am typing this nekked! Nekked n Sexy! Nekked, Sexy and on my knees (get your minds out of the gutter) pleading with the baseball schedule Gods to add the Sox Yankees game back to the schedule next year. And if me nekked and begging doesn't get results then I can pretty much say there is no hope left for humanity!
And with that I will close this Valentines edition of Boston Bob by wishing a Happy Birthday to a favorite here at FenwayParkFans.com (that could be a lie, I've never even asked anyone here if they like him) Mr. Drew Bledsoe who turns 38 on Valentines Day...now how is THAT for a Valentines edition??? I know, bad assed!!!
For FenwayParkFans.com...............Boston Bob, Out! (Bitches)