So my vacation is officially over, it’s back to work tomorrow. A lot has happened since I left and I plan on writing about all of it. So listen up!
So my vacation is officially over, it’s back to work tomorrow. A lot has happened since I left and I plan on writing about all of it. Or at the very least I’ll write about some of it until I get bored and want to do something else. I truly have the attention span of a…
Okay, I’m back but before I start catching up on The Sox (and wherever else my mind might wander) I would like to thank everyone at North Country Rivers up in Maine. I did a Whitewater Rafting trip with them last weekend and it was a blast! The guides there are AMAZING (if you go remember to tip them please, they work their asses off) as was everyone that worked there!
There were around 100 people that went the day I was there and even with the bad weather I didn’t hear a single complaint. Granted it’s a week later and my ass still feels like I’m the new guy in prison but it was all worth it.
Which is something I can guarantee the new guy in prison isn’t saying this morning. He’s more just rocking in the corner, trying to figure out where he went wrong. You can cry new guy; it’s ok to cry. But back to the trip, amazing, thanks again and I will be back soon! Now on to the Sox.
So The Yankees are now in first place blah blah blah, who cares. They got hot, we got room temperatureish. Which isn’t actually a word. Meaning if you used it in a game of Scrabble you’d get exactly as many points for that word as The Yankees have wins against The Sox this year, which is to say zero! BAM, you can still eat it Yankee fans!
But the Yankees are in first for now, bound to happen. If you are someone who honestly thought that The Sox were going to be in first all year long you obviously know as much about baseball as I know about…something I know nothing about (I tried to come up with something for hours but just couldn’t, I know all! As to not hold up the article I will just write on). If you’re someone who is logical you have to think “how could that not happen at some point?”
The Yankees have hit 30 more Homeruns than we have and scored almost 50 more runs overall. Their ERA just a while back was near the bottom and now they are closer to middle of the pack. Bullpen has been better, Teixeira seems to be getting more comfortable in a Yankee uniform; I could really go on and on. Oh, and did I mention that The Sox just aren’t scoring right now?
No advice here, no crazy words of wisdom for ya on that one. Scoring is something that I do by accident. It’s like breathing or picking a car up off of a baby, it just comes naturally. I have a buddy that has a hard time scoring, I can ask him how he gets out of his slumps. But how could a guy who can’t pick up women help The Sox score runs? I don’t even know where I was going with this. Back on track…
The Sox are a game and a half back the morning of July the 26th. And while there are only 65 games and 3+ months left in the season (sarcasm never quite comes across the way it should in print) I think there is a good chance we might catch them. And pass them. And be caught again. And tied. Then pass them. Then be passed. Then…
Do you follow me here? I’m not saying that we are going to swap first place every other week like some shitty WWE belt but we are going to probably be in first again, and out of first again. The Yankees are a good team plain and simple. We are pretty much as evenly matched up with The Yankees as a team can be. If The Sox played their games in a state full of supercilious (BIG WORD) pricks you wouldn’t be able to tell us apart. But New York already has two teams so…
Bottom line, Yankees are in first place right now. We should be there again at some point. Tampa is 10 games over 500 and still 5 ½ back but who’s to say they don’t go on a run at a point when the Sox and Yankees go cold? Not saying it is going to but it could happen. Bottom line is be ready for anything. It’s a long season and with that much of it left we will see first place again I promise.
What else happened? The Sox signed Jason Bay! Not really, still hasn’t happened. Maybe they are waiting to see if his average drops below 250, see if they can get him cheaper. Like some dented can of peas at Market Basket. They can pick up the peas and a smooshed angel food cake for the price of a nice un-dented can of peas. If he drops below 220 they can probably afford him, the food cake and that expired flea collar.
Think that isn’t what’s going through Theo Epsteins’ mind right now? Oh he’s thinking about dented peas I promise you. And he’s already thinking two steps ahead to that flea collar. Which is definitely smart, it’s worked for him so far.
I myself see it differently. His average has dropped to 255 right now and very well could continue to free fall but you have to understand the guy has a lot on his mind. His future isn’t that much more certain than the rest of ours in this economy. He obviously knows that he will be playing baseball for quite a bit longer, either here or somewhere else. Other than that he knows nothing. Which can weigh on your mind in a negative way.
So how do we fix this you ask? Freakin sign him!!! You sign him today and I guarantee that he is hitting 300 come seasons end. You sign him today and he knows that he is here to for X amount of years at X amount of dollars per season; all his questions are answered. Which frees him up to do what he does best; play baseball. You see, everyone wins if you do things my way. At least that is what I tell the women.
What else, what else? The Sox finally got rid of Julio Lugo. Sent him to The Spurs in exchange for Tim Duncan who I’ve been told has a pretty crazy curveball.
Sorry my intel was bad, we sent him to The Cardinals for Kurt Warner who I hear was one hell of a 2nd baseman in Junior College.
My bad, it was The Cardinals in St. Louis and it’s Chris Duncan, and outfielder. Sorry, I thought there was a story there but not really. Good luck Julio!
My favorite sports writer, Mr. Bill Simmons retired from The Mag. Seems as if you might have a little time on your hands there Billy Boy, would you mind reading a few of MY articles for a change? You selfish bastard! I read yours, you read yours…see that Bill, it’s all about you there. Read mine for a change damn it!!
Sorry, I don’t know what happened there but my mind is definitely wandering so I’m going to wrap this up with a DEMAND from Mr. Felix Pie of the Baltimore Oriole’s.
Mr. Pie, your last name is Pie [pahy} deal with it. You can’t just all of the sudden change the pronunciation to [Pee A] and get away with it buddy! If my last name was Cookie you know what people would be calling me? Bobby [koo k-ee] not Bobby [ko oo ki] or whatever I choose to change it to. I’m going to the authorities on this one, all the freakin way to Funk and Wagner!!!
And that is what you get from me this time around kids. It’s not much, it’s not insightful and it’s not really even all that accurate…but I hope it’s entertaining!
For FenwayPArkFans.com, Boston Bob Thanking the crew at North Country Rivers for a GREAT TIME!!
Hey..How about some pictures for the website?